During the last few months I have been giving myself challenges to change my life. Some of them have had major effects, such as beginning to drive after an eleven year hiatus, and others have been more difficult to rise to.
The driving has been a mixed blessing. When I first got my car a couple of months back, I thought that the anxiety I had felt about driving would magically disappear. However, after a few weeks I was disappointed to find that this was not the case. I have managed to get used to a few local journeys that I make regularly, but when I am trying to go somewhere bigger or unfamiliar, I get panicky and am still not happy about driving, even though I have a sat-nav and allow plenty of time. It is still an ongoing challenge, although for getting around locally it has made a massive difference to my life and that of my family, particularly in getting to and from our church and regular toddler group. I am glad that I got myself to a point where I was able to help our family in this way, but part of me sometimes wishes I had an excuse to just get the bus and not push myself so much.
The most recent challenge, which I am still trying to push myself towards, is that of being more physically active. For some reason I am still unable to fathom, I signed myself up for a Couch to 5K course in my local park, and just under a month ago, I started pushing myself every week to pant my red-faced wobbly way around the course with a group of others (who appear to be doing a little better than me) with the encouragement of an instructor who has been trying her best to make us feel that running could be a fun activity. We have been alternating jogging and walking, and it is increasing incrementally each week.
Now, anyone who has known me for even a short while will know that, whilst I am able to do a short sprint to the bus stop, I am not a naturally sporty or active person. In fact, even at school I was one of those kids who would rather have their nose in a book than be outside and running around. It has taken a massive change of mind to get myself to a point where I would voluntarily sign myself onto a course that has anything to do with running. I have been a little overweight for years, and after having my daughter I did not have the willpower to make any effort to lose the weight through exercise. I have been gently reminded by a number of people that being a little bit more active would bring more benefits such as extra energy and less chance of being depressed.
Well, so far, the running has not given me more energy, I have been exhausted the day after each time I've been out. I've been aching all over and it is such a challenge to get round the course, especially on the 'homework runs' we have to complete between each session. I have also been having a lot of issues with depression in recent months. However, I am determined to carry on even though it is definitely getting harder each time. I am also lucky enough to have made a friend who has been doing the course with me, and have been really enjoying the chance to get to know her. I think having someone alongside me has been making all the difference.
Having someone who is able to come alongside us is so important in all challenges of our lives. I believe that God gives us people to travel part of our journey with us at key points in our lives. I have been fortunate enough to have a number of people who have been alongside me for various points of my life, from the minister who played a key role in helping me to escape my abusive ex, to the friends who have been helping me to realise that I am being a good mother to my toddler. Not to mention my husband, who has been alongside me in so many ways since we met. In the Bible it says that God brings us alongside others going through similar experiences so that we can encourage them with the comfort that we ourselves received first (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). It is good to know that we have a God who cares about us so much that he not only helps us himself, but gives us others to be alongside us along the way.
There will always be challenges that I come up against, and I will have to keep finding strength and willpower to keep pushing on. But I am confident that I will keep trying and that God will provide me with people to encourage me along the way.
