A little about myself

Where to start...

I am a Christian who a number of years ago ended up in an abusive relationship for several years. This gradually eroded away at so many aspects of my sense of self that I nearly lost who I was and my faith as well. By the time I got away, my then partner had turned so violent and controlling that after leaving him I ended up spending many months having physiotherapy to get my limbs working properly again. His control of every aspect of my life even went as far as keeping me in the same room as him all the time, not allowing me to sit anywhere but the floor, and forcing me to ask for permission to go to the toilet. He was eventually arrested and given a custodial sentence. I was left with physical injuries and post-traumatic stress disorder, which have to some extent healed.

Out of the old life where I felt that I had been so lost, a new life developed. I was able to make steps towards a good recovery, making new friends and rediscovering who I was and who I wanted to be. I also managed to cling onto my faith, even though in the beginning of my recovery I wanted to forget the whole thing. It took me a long time to get myself in a place where I could work out where God had been while I was suffering, but I persevered and tried going to church.

I went back to university to study for a Master's degree, something which would have been unthinkable during that toxic relationship. I needed to prove to myself that I wasn't stupid, after a number of years of being made to believe that I was. I started to go to a new church simply to meet people and feel settled. But while I was there I met some lovely people who introduced me to a friend of theirs, and we hit it off so well that we are now married with a toddler.

I have begun to rediscover old hobbies and take up new ones, make new friends as well as reconnecting with old ones, and generally find a new me. I hope to not only talk openly about my experiences of abuse but also to share some lighter, happier moments too.

My new life emerged from the old, transformed, very different, but considerably better. There are challenges, some of which relate to my past experiences. I'm not pretending it is perfect, or that I have totally left behind the past, But I am definitely able to look at my life and see how far I have come.